dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize