Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
