You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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