FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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