just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
