why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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