so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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