So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I cut my penus on the lid.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
