his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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