Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
