Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
