He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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