So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
