have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
