the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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