Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm just crazy horny about you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
