I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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