I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
