Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
