Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
