oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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