it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Someone came in the potted fern
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The power of my boobs compel you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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