The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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