so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
