You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize