They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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