found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
