Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I met the friendliest cop last night
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
