We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
