The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
