In America we eat man semen.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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