Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
