You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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