I am spending my child support on dildos
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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