What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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