The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
