sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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