508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
