She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
