but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize