Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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