Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The dick lei will go down in squad history
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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