one two three fourrrrnication!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
