Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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