He kissed a someone with a penis
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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