i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
