The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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