I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
