I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
