My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
