i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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