just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize