She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
