i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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