3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
