I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
