I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
wow bdsm is so cute
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