i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
