Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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